In order to see less of what you’re not interested in, TikTok recommends long-pressing on videos and simply hitting the «not interested» button to remould your FYP. I briefly considered this approach but worried that by smacking the algorithm whenever it misbehaved I might end up getting bounced to some weird random corner of the app, like sheep-shearing TikTok. I decided this tactic would be cheating, but still resolved to take a more proactive approach the next day.
Day Three
Rather than trust the algorithm, I decided to take matters into my own hands and actively look for content more befitting the state of my love life, or lack thereof. As I ventured for the first time into the Explore section of the app, I clocked my suggested searches: «boyfriend gift ideas,» «cuddles with boyfriend,» «boyfriend appreciation.» For fuck’s sake. I had never searched for any of these things in my life yet TikTok was basically calling me a simp to my face. I ignored the slander and instead used the manual search option to find and furiously engage with every video I could under hashtags like #breakup, #heartbreak, and #dumped.
As it turned out, I was late to the party: separation TikTok is basically one of many app’s very energetic subcultures (the #breakup hashtag alone has over 9 billion views). It was here I found weepy, snivvily solace among dozens of Gen Z-ers documenting their breakups day-by-day by shooting by themselves weeping, mulling more than its forgotten partners, or doling away sobering pointers.
Was this self care or self-destructive? I wondered. To answer that, I reached out to Gillian Myhill, a sex and relationship expert who once ran her own tech company. We agreed algorithms can be cruel things and she assured me it wasn’t unnatural to be annoyed by the couples polluting my FYP, rather, «you’re more in tune to it» when you’ve been through a breakup. «You have a different tint on your vision,» she said.
Thus was delving with the #break up TikTok proper dealing system, after that? «I think since the humans we discover solace or understanding to learn we are really not the only real of these, to know we’re not by yourself — there are many more some one going right on through might be found,» Gillian told me. «You will find a kind of camaraderie you can find through this. Possibly when you find yourself sad you should be as much as individuals who comprehend the soreness otherwise who will be going right through it. It’s an integral part of the new healing up process for which you go-away and you can lick their cГ©libataire vidГ©o rencontre wounds — and you will a way you can think on the relationship will be to correspond with almost every other individuals concerning your aches as well as your feel.»
Date Five
My foray into the miserable world of breakup content seemed to have worked. Perhaps spurred on by this new re also-discharge of Taylor Swift’s disastrous breakup record album Yellow, 12 videos about the now painfully relatable «All Too Well» jumped up at me. In some of them, women joked on the breaking up through its men for the sole purpose of fully immersing themselves in the song’s much anticipated 10-minute version (I mean. be careful what you wish for). Maybe TikTok was just reflecting the cultural moment as it should, or maybe it was finally reading the room. To keep the momentum going, I doubled back through my liked videos and forwarded all the sad ones onto my friends for good measure. In Taylor’s words, this was exhausting.
We wasn’t the initial person to fully grasp this state. Lydia Venn, twenty four, a fellow TikTok member which experience a separation this past year, shared my personal problems. «About what I recall it will be decided brand new formula is actually geared to video I would personally spotted whilst in a love,» she recalled. «I had adjust my algorithm therefore i would not be found him or her since it is naturally not really what we wish to see in the midst of a break up.»
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